The Paradox of feminine power
Feminine power is a raw, untamed force—fierce yet tender, boundless yet yearning for boundaries. It’s the paradox of creation and destruction, love and surrender, a strength misunderstood in a world that fears vulnerability but thrives on its beauty.
At the core of realized feminine is power - raw, untamed, a force of nature. It's the power to create and destroy, to nurture and consume, a cycle of creation. It's beauty that takes your breath away and wisdom that lights your path. It's truth that cuts you to the bone and love is so fierce it consumes you whole. It is awe inspiring and terrifying all at once.
The ability to be vulnerable, to be open, to surrender - and in those moments, become a raw source of creative power. Power to be able to do anything, to become anything: power to elevate oneself from average consumer and bypasser to an active participant of the creation. To create wherever you want, create an impact, rebuild oneself and to rebuild the other. This is the power that the feminine has the possibility to touch on.
Yet, we've created a world that both craves and fears this power. We hunger for it because it's the essence of life itself. We shun it because it holds the potential of destruction, it is demanding, unapologetic, unabashed and testing. It wants us to prove your worth and it demands our full attention, your full presence, our vulnerability, our surrender. It asks us to feel deeply in a world that is so afraid of death, loss of control and surrender.
We simultaneously crave it and devalue it. Crave it because it is needed. Devalue it because it invites us to be vulnerable and to surrender, and because this power is meant to team up with mastery of control to yield it, contain it and direct it and after too long of interdependence turned wrong and become unbalanced submission-dominance, we are so afraid of it. We want to be self contained, independent and in control.
The Trap of interdependance
Some people are balanced in their feminine-masculine polarity within themselves. Some hold more of the masculine in their blend. Some are on the deep end of the spectrum embodying more primal raw archetypes of the masculine and feminine, never fully 100 but closer to the edge. It is a spectrum, with no wrong or right, just what is. And whether you know who you are or not and are you comfortable with your nature or not. But along that spectrum there is a group that is most sought after yet most misunderstood and abused. If you are reading it you might be already leaning towards it- the deep end of the feminine- the goddess incarnate. So what about those who have come here leaning so much more into the feminine? What about people who are creative and vulnerable and open and are the power, raw, undirected, uncontained, intensely burning, explosive, a force of nature embodying the aspects of the Mother?
We are both a hot commodity and the ones that are most vulnerable to abuse. Because it is in our nature to need the other, the opposite to us. We need so much to work together with the ones who have more masculine energy of control and direction, and it makes us both powerful and vulnerable and often dependent. So much more often than not, they hold it over us and trap us with it. They claim it as their own without proper recognition and demand it while simultaneously devaluing us to prop themselves up.
Our differences from strength have been turned into weakness. Our ability to feel is framed as weakness. Our vulnerability is both desired and degraded at the same time. Our beloved control freaks like very much to be needed, but way too often when we need them, they use our need against us. They feed on our need and our desire only to become impermeable, cold, manipulative and controlling. They abuse the power we gave them as a gift and use it to subjugate us rather than honor and care for us. We are all in the filth of misunderstanding as the world taught us how to abuse, misuse, and corrupt the power of the feminine and harness it for one's engagement rather than mutual empowerment.
The Myth Of weakness
The set up that we live in is a deep trap for the feminine as is, but the bondage of misaligned with one's nature expectations increases exponentially for those who do not have a solid foundation of material and emotional stability to begin with.
Feminine energy is not operating by going and getting, efforting, working long hours, denying yourself pleasure to raise over your basic instincts, making decisions all day, compartmentalizing your emotions in order to choose how you engage. It wants none of that, and yet those are the very skills you need to survive.
Inequality and social stratification are real for everyone, but for the more male-operating mode of developing mastery of your surroundings and building yourself up through actions is much more apt to change their circumstances as this system is more set up for them. It is easier to disconnect from feeling and do what needs to be done.
While disconnection from the feelings has a cost for everyone, the cost is not as high as for someone who is deeply feminine, whose mode is feeling because in disconcerting from feeling in order to survive, one disconcerting from the saucer of power adn the very nature of oneself. Feeling itself is also energy consuming. We do not look at it as work, but it is work, just the one that yields results internally rather than in outer world. Feeling is labor that is mostly unpaid, unnoticed and unappreciated. It gives you power of knowing but also makes you vulnerable. The more vulnerable you are, the more you feel it and also you come equipped with tools and abilities that can blossom in the container of love and care and support both financial and material.
What if you did not have a solid container? What if you grew up in poverty or chaos or broken family? What if you had no father or mother to teach you self-worth and value? And your self-worth is your power mode if you are operating in the feminine power mode. And now the world holds it over your head.
Why don't you have self-worth?
Where is your self respect?
Why didn't you have a loving family or loving father as if it is your fault?
Why are you so needy?
Why do you want validation that you have never received?
What is wrong with you?
Why can't you get over yourself and pull yourself by the bootstraps?
…I need someone who is confident and whole, does not have daddy/mommy issues, no issues, who has done all the work/has no trauma/came from a good family/did not really suffer but if suffered it did not affect them at all, unscared, not damaged goods. Someone self assured, does not need my reassurance or validation, confident, knows her worth……
If you have been unlucky to be born as a feminine woman in the wrong family with little ability to develop self respect, the world will not forgive you for this. In fact it will treat you worse than a criminal. The world is so keen on degrading you, abusing you, taking your love, beauty, power, everything you have to offer and giving so little in return.
Luckluster choices
What are we supposed to do when this world is not built for us? How are we supposed to live here and preserve our integrity? What are the choices?
Give up your nature and conform. Adapt masculine modes of behaviors, build up walls. Maybe, hate yourself a bit for working so hard on being something that you will never be. You will never succeed really because this mode is so far from your truth, but at least you’ve tried. You will survive. But cost is your identity.
Manipulate. Just go nuts. Go wild. Have no regard for what anyone wants but what you want. Use your power, manipulate, whore around, play them, break hearts, drain them of their energy, money, lifeforce, get everything, everyone, wherever you want. Win big. Fuck everyone over. Lose your integrity.
Internalize that you are somehow less, and that what you have to offer is just not needed. Feel inadequate, timid, afraid to ask for what you need. Overthink everything, Please everyone. Try to compensate for the lack of inner worth by doing more, being more, letting everyone push you around. Become malleable, become what they want to win love. Become dormant. Beat yourself up for your lack of boundaries and self worth.
Submit- find someone to take care of you but if you have not internalized your inherent worthiness, that someone will be more like your abusive/absent father or a series of partners wearing different faces but being all the same.Depend on them for validation,sustenance, giving your life meaning. Jump hoops and loops to get cramps. Lose your dignity
Go lay and die. Succumb to your emotions, get addicted to something, stop taking care of yourself, heartbroken over all of the pain and your poor options. Sounds dramatic but after having your heart trashed for so long (which could happen for the ones that so want to give themself yet have not grown in self worth and the world has been mirroring back to you your worthlessness. Freeze mode is actually becoming an appealing choice. Just let go and stop fighting…Lose your will to live and stop trying
Of course, there is another way. A way in. To dig deep. Dig for the remnants of worthiness, and truth and what is real. Dig through the layers of trauma and conditioning, personal stories, impersonal, family lineage, societal injustice, collective trauma.
Dig for gold, dig for god. To find that inner worth. Excavate it no matter how deep it has been pushed by layers of disconnect and our lame interpretations of life.
But that needs time. And that needs effort. And that needs support. And that needs money. And that needs care. And what if you don't have that? How long can one go without support? How much are you willing to sacrifice in this pursuit? And how much can you do when you plainly need to survive? Our societies are just not built for it. We created structures that favor only action and achievements in the world but not the inner world, unless you are rich and can afford it, and most people are not. In fact, too often you are ridiculed and shamed for “wasting your time” and the results are so less tangible, so much harder to quantify…
The price of embodying feminine essence in our world
All of this has a price. Price of losing identity. Price of losing integrity. Price of losing your confidence and self-value. And it is like wherever you choose, wherever you pick, it is your price.
We really did, as humanity and as society, devalue everything that the feminine has to offer. Just look at how we pay for the jobs that use feminine versus masculine traits. Who can get ahead and who can't. And then on top of it, after creating the conditions in which none of the femininity can thrive and blossom, we are demanded that. We are demanded to be soft and trusted and sweet and smile. After giving us crumbs for so long.
And now we are also demanded to be feminine and contribute equally. With paying bills and doing chores. And have intimacy with our partners who have not put even a bit of the effort into wooing us and be romantic. And taking care of our needs. It is just their selfishness and gratification. If you are in a more traditional family situation where you are being supported so often, they can use it over your head. And make you feel trapped. With so little social and societal support. To have other choices than to stay in the situations that are just not right.
Blooming through concrete
We've collectively created a hell of a prison for the Woman.
Then we punish her for holding back her blossom in this cell.
And maybe I can bloom and blossom through the rock or sand of the desert, with no water, no sun and so little care.
Just my ability to eat the pain - turn it into art, light of my bare open bleeding heart.
But I am a power I can push through pavement if I need to
But how many more around cannot or choose not to do the same
And why do I have to become best friends with the pain?
Why do I have to cry an entire ocean of tears?
Why has it become so difficult to be a woman
Who wants to be empowered and
Beloved all at once?
The paradox of the feminine energy: it demands and it surrenders, it is boundless yet craves boundaries, it is wild but longs to be held. And it asks—why should I have to apologize for this? Why must I diminish myself to fit into a world that fears my power, a power that needs the masculine not to dominate but to dance with me in creation?
Feminine wants to be protected not because it is weak and lacks power but because it is a power of vulnerability. Feminine wants to be directed not because it lacks direction and competence but because the ability to be fully present in the now aka mode super focused is traded for being one with all aka dispersed mode. Feminine wants to be provided for because this creates a container to explore the realm of feelings, love and beauty - her home. Feminine wants to be held and contained because it is so vast and unbound that though touch it knows itself. Feminine wants to be guided and directed and shaped but as a service where it provides the raw power of creativity and vision and masculine creates pathways of executions via control. This is a paradox of the feminine, it wants so much of what we have been taught through the tradition but in radically different ways with a different intent.
The feminine does not want to rule; it wants to belong. It wants to know that its vastness will be met, not with fear or exploitation, but with reverence. To be seen. To be felt. To be cherished. It is not weakness but the ultimate strength: a willingness to trust, to connect, to allow. And if that threatens everything the world has built on the illusion of control—good. Perhaps it is time we learned to build differently.
